Pinterest Roulette…

So I was wandering about the internet , and it occurred to me, that although I love Pinterest , I never actually do any of the stuff I pin, and that’s sad. Obviously these things leap out at me as being cool goals to achieve or places to go or whatever, and I just make a note of it and go on about my life. Well, no.

So, I merged a bunch of Pinterest boards, and I’ve decided that the only way to tackle this sorry state of affairs is to randomly do one Pinterest thing per week . And when I say “randomly” I mean “close my eyes, wiggle the mouse a bit, then click” – and whatever I land on , I must complete. So , this is the first Pinterest roulette blog – I feel like I got off pretty easy. I was expecting to have to make a body scrub out of old teabags or something, so this was a nice , light foray. I landed on “Journal and Scrapbook Prompts”, and then the pin I landed on , was this :  

Ugh. 

This could go one of several ways. Self reflection is so dangerous – what if there are things about myself I don’t want to know? What about the Johari window?

Also, I’m sorry but this is just like those chain emails we used to hotmail each other at 16 as a means of getting the inside scoop on people we wanted to make out with. You can dress it up with a marble background all you like but I see what’s occurring here. 

This whole Pinterest Roulette thing suddenly seems like an idea I’ve had that’s going to annoy me beyond measure but I’ve committed now… 

  1. What does your ideal day look like?

Waking up, alone, after an amazing night’s sleep, with no responsibilities or obligations to take care of that day. A blank canvas and options. 

  1. What did you want to be when you were younger?

What I am now.

  1. Who are you most inspired by? Why?

I have a friend, who thinks critically about everything, and never accepts “because it just is that way” as a reasonable excuse for anything. It causes him a lot of strife but I admire it so much because he is so very much himself, all the time, without compromise, and it’s beautiful. 

  1. Who would you love to meet? What would you ask?

Honestly, I wish daily that I could meet my grandmother again. So much has happened since she died, and she was the only person I could ever show the absolute worst of myself to, and know that she would love me anyway. 

  1. What habit would you most like to break?

Fucking smoking. Insidious, disgusting smoking. God, quitting is so hard, it’s like I have no control over my own body and my hands are just rolling a cigarette while my entire being is like “hey now, we said we’d stop this – it’s going to kill you and make you ugly on the way”. 

  1. Think of a person you truly admire. What qualities do you like about that person?

I’ve already answered this why are you wasting my time?

  1. How do you like to relax?

Submitting. 

  1. When was the last time you did something you were afraid of? Submitting
  1. What are you most proud of?
    My friendships, and the fact that against some pretty severe odds, I’m neither in prison or dead. The life I have built for myself is a staggering compilation of luck, tenacity, second chances and a standard of support, love and care which has been second to none.
  1. What are you most afraid of?

Being bored or boring. Losing my nerve to do hard things.

  1. If life stopped today, what would you regret not doing?

Travelling more. I’ve travelled but there is so much out there. I am so determined that this will not end up being a regret, because it would be the only one. 

  1. Who would you like to connect (or reconnect) with? Why?

I don’t lose people. My friends are my family, and if you’re gone, it wasn’t an accident. 

  1. What qualities do you admire in others?

Honesty, loyalty, determination , a strong work ethic, open minded-ness, fairness, courage, kindness – especially in situations that do not invite kindness, integrity, selflessness

  1. What practical skills do you wish you had?

I want to learn so much, all the time. I wish I could cook better, I’d love to be able to draw, and I want to learn more languages because they are beautiful and complicated. 

  1. Imagine you’re in your 90s. What memories would you like to have? What stories do you want to tell?

I want to still be making them, or very much dead. There will be no rocking chair reflection period of my life, thank you very much. 

  1. What is your favourite book/movie/song? Why?

I refuse to answer this basic bitch nonsense. No.

17. If you could make one change in the world, what would it be?

Oh come on.
I’d like everyone tone vegetarian or vegan. I think the cognitive dissonance that allows us to stroke our pets with one hand and eat an animal with the other is responsible for so much of the mentality which allows people to commit great wrongs in this world.

18. What do you love to do for, or give to others (not an object – something from you personally)?

I just don’t want to be one of the people that makes the world a worse place. There are plenty of people out there doing that, I want people to feel better for having known me or been near me. 

19. What excites you?

Unexpected possibilities, chances arising to do something you didn’t know you were going to do today.

20. What do you wish you did more of?

There are people I’d spend so much more time with if it was possible.

21. Pretend money is no object. What would you do?

Cabin in the woods, rescue animals, open my mouth a lot more without fear of losing my job.

22. What area of your life, right now, makes you feel the best? Which area makes you feel the worst? Why?

Best: My relationships. Friendship and love are the two parts of my life where I have landed on my feet time and time again. I’ve also landed on my face a few times but the small circle around me is rock solid, and has been for a really long time. 

Worst: The lack of stability in practical areas of my life. Circumstantially, I am stuck in a little rut right now. It’s not forever, I’m working my way up and out, but it feels deep and uncomfortable. 

23.Let’s jump forward a year. What would you like to have achieved in the past year?

To have wiggled my way out of the rut, to be stable, able to drive, tobe in a good routine with a decent work life balance, a promotion and a better handle on where my life is going in the year after that.

24. What piece of advice would you give to five year old you? Sixteen year old you? Twenty-one year old you? Right now?

5– You are literally so goddamn dyspraxic, don’t worry about how much you get in trouble for being clumsy and forgetful , it will come right in the end. 

16– He’s not the one, and you will be fine without him. Better in fact, and certainly better than he will be without you. Oh, and you can do this – everyone else is wrong (this happens a lot), do not drop out of school and get a stable job at the bank. They mean well but they don’t know what they’re talking about , and in about 6 years time you’re going to stand up and teach a class and it will suddenly hit you that this is your calling and you’ll need that degree (spoiler – at the end of this bullshit you do actually get an unconditional offer to your first choice uni , mainly cos JM is well impressed with you getting straight As while working graveyard shifts at Starbucks.)

21– Make sure Paul understands that you didn’t throw a kitchen implement at her, because that is going to piss you off for another decade. It’s not assault if they move INTO the trajectory of the things you throw. Also , when that twat from the union tells girls to dress appropriately to work opening day, remind him that the university has a responsibility to you as students and as employees to protect you from pervy dads, it’s not your responsibility to manage their bullshit. These will be experiences that will make you speak up more in future because regretting things you didn’t say is seven levels of hell, but they will still grate on you at 31. 

Now- Look at those previous versions of you. Nobody thought you were going to make it and here you are.

25. How do you want to be remembered in life?

Honestly. I don’t want to become a rose tinted memory of myself. 

“she was kind and brave, she had a nice bum, but also neurotic, jealous, sarcastic and bloody minded, and none of those things cancel out the others, because you can be a lot of different things at the same time”

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