- Telling people I felt depressed
Because balls to suffering in silence. My colleagues sensed something was up, several asked if I was ok and I opted for “no I’m depressed, it’s shitty” rather than “just tired” and a pale and wan half smile. Turns out people are pretty great. Nobody backed away from me like I had the pox, in fact one fellow teacher leaned across the desk , raised an eyebrow and said “yeah…but have you tried like, not being depressed though” and then we laughed heartily at the very suggestion that mental health problems aren’t real. Nicely done teacher fam, nicely done.
2.Going to the shop for James
In one of my perky moments I told husband I’d go and get him a bagel on Saturday morning – sadly Saturday morning rolled round to reveal what I can only describe as “kill yourself weather”. I went anyway. Trudging through the sludge like Lawrence Oates: screw you depression!
3. Somewhat sticking to my social engagements
Had to cancel drinks on Friday night but successfully managed coffee, family dinner and a friend lunch. Hopefully I can now manage a run at some point or I’ll be stiff as a board as well as depressed
4.Working and not working
I am my job. Teaching is hands down the most worthy thing I do with my time. However it’s also incredibly draining when you’re running on fumes, so I threw myself at it this week and I’m on light duties and a long weekend next week- because a zombie teacher is no teacher at all.
A two page rant about my Louis CK feels was incredibly cathartic and has prevented me from being just angry at all men all the time and turning into some Diana the Hunter of the South Coast